The Mid-Week Mumble: Stair-Walkers — News — Off The Back — Daily Deals

The Mid-Week Mumble: Stair-Walkers

Posted at Wed 13 Jan, at 08:00:00 in General By Tom A

Although the precise location of Off The Back HQ is a closely guarded secret, known only by a select group of people, from time to time we’re stumbled upon by a rare and mysterious breed of person – the ‘Stair-Walker’.

I must spare as many details as possible, for obvious reasons, but Off The Back HQ sits on the upper floors of a building and is accessible only by a single staircase. Now and then, members of the public trespass up this staircase in search of something. Perhaps they’re just curious? Perhaps they’re not all there in the head? Perhaps they’re here to steal or perhaps they’re drunk and lost? We just don’t know, and seldom ask…

Sometimes they’re harmless. Like this one fellow – obviously a tourist – who said that he was admiring the architecture in such a unique building. After a brief spell of ‘chit-chat’ with Robert regarding the merits of the staircase, he was on his way – anti-pickpocket tourist pouch and SLR in tow.

Sometimes they’re annoying. One that stands out in particular was this tatty little street urchin who came up collecting money for ‘charity’. He confidently strutted into the office and announced that he was ‘collecting’. But, only having enough money for lunch, and being highly pessimistic towards his true intentions, I turned away and tried not to make eye-contact. Thankfully, he bypassed my desk and made a beeline for Robert, who grumpily dished out a few coins for this so-called ‘charity’. The kid hung around for a moment, as if to call us stingy, and then left the office. But he continued to linger in the hallway and on the stairs, throwing his coins on the floor and picking them up again, before finally leaving. We locked the door that day.

Sure, sometimes they turn out to be good-natured people with honest intentions, but this is private property – they’re not welcome. I mean, you wouldn’t be allowed to just walk into the vault of a bank because you’re collecting for a good cause, or Buckingham Palace because you like the building. It’s just that until the point when you know what they’ve come for, whilst you’re listening to the footsteps getting closer and closer, a million and one scenarios go through your head and it puts you on edge. Of course, we respect everybody’s right to roam, but if you’re going for a wander please steer clear of us, because quite frankly, we’re scared!

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